How To Introduce Yourself to Someone You’ve Never Met

This article is number 2 in the effective small business communication series.

Those first introductions can be the most difficult—and sometimes the most important.

People are making flash judgments every second. Every move you make is being scrutinized.

But with the right introduction, a good personality, and some confidence, you have the power to cement your good image in their minds and create an instant bond.

In my experience, there are two main parts to introducing yourself to someone new. The first part is starting the conversation; going from standing around awkwardly to actually interacting with them. The second part consists of what you say and how you say it.

How to start the conversation

1. The mutual acquaintance icebreaker If your soon-to-be friend happens to be talking with or know someone that you know, it can be a great way to leverage yourself into a conversation. If they’re talking to that person, it’s really easy to just walk up and say hi to your friend, and an introduction follows very naturally. If not, you can just confirm there name “Dave Moneyfountain?” and mention your aquaintance “I know Mark ReallyReputableGuy, he’s mentioned you a few times.” Then you can launch into a discussion from there.
2. The compliment icebreaker Giving a compliment is a frequently over-used tactic that is still used, because it can work so well. They key, of course, is sincerity. Everyone uses the “I like your watch” compliment nowadays—but since I happen to be a watch fanatic, I can start talking about automatic movements and other things that make my compliments truly sincere. Your best bet is going to be giving a compliment that you truly mean and are prepared to talk about in detail.
3. Conversation by proximity This can be a great way to jump start a conversation, if you happen to be close to the person you want to introduce yourself to (close physically or in situation). If you do find yourself in place where this might work, just make some seemingly-intelligent or humorous remark about whatever situation you find yourself in (I do this all the time waiting in lines). A hand-shake and introduction can follow swiftly thereafter.
4. The direct approach Once you realize that everyone else is also busy looking for excuses to come up and talk to you, this approach becomes easier. Simply stroll up with a little confidence, offer a hand-shake, and say, “Hi, Mike, I’m ________.” Alternatively, if you’re approaching a group, you can walk up and say, “Mind if I join you?” You might be amazed at this, but the direct approach works really well. People just don’t seem to say, “No, you can’t join us,” or, “Hi, actually, I’m busy and don’t want to talk with you.”

Most of these suggestions are worded for usage in a face-to-face scenario, but in reality they can apply to starting all sorts of conversations (emailing and calling were two others that came to my mind).

What to say in your first conversation

How you start your conversation will depend a lot on what you want from that relationship. If you want a personal relationship, for example, you might start with different things than if you want a business relationship. For the purpose of this article, we’ll assume your goal is to start a friendly business relationship.

Start with their name. It’s tempting to start with your own name, but if you know their name it’s a really nice touch to address them by it. Once they’ve been addressed, then you can throw your name into the mix.

Give yourself a history. If you have a mutual acquaintance, a specific reason for starting the conversation, or anything that gives credit to you, it is good to mention that early on. It lets them know you aren’t trying to waste their time. If you don’t have any back story (at a business card exchange, for example), then it’s okay to skip this step. Also, don’t speak too much on this—keep it to one or two sentences.

Ask questions about them. Ask them about what they do, what they like doing, their history. Ask anything that’s appropriate to your conversation. In general, people really enjoy talking about themselves, so the more you let them talk, the more they’re going to like you. One caveat to this, however; don’t subject them to a rapid-fire interrogation! Ask slow, thoughtful questions, and then give them a chance to talk for a while. A little down-time can actually be a good thing for a conversation.

Listen carefully, and respond. You may have noticed that the best conversationalists remember all sorts of little details about you and bring them up when the time is right. Your goal in asking questions isn’t just to make them feel good about themselves, but also to learn as much about them as you can. Be a good listener, and you’ll remember a whole lot more of the conversation. Once you’ve fully processed what they said (again, it’s okay to pause and think), you can respond with something thoughtful.

Answer their questions. Once they start asking you questions, it’s time to give them more information about yourself and your company. This is also when you can give them your small business’s marketing message. Be careful not to speak for too long, though, it’s never a good idea to entirely dominate the conversation.

At this point, you’ll probably have been speaking for at least a few minutes and will be well on your way to building a valuable relationship. It’s still good to remember some of the basics, though, especially about listening and paying attention to what they say. Good luck with your conversations, and feel free to start one in the comments section.

If you’re interested in more articles like this, check out some others in the Effective Small Business Communication series.